MEAGRE

 Fire

burning inside me so hot that one could burn to the touch

he asks if I could warm him, and I do

but he says it is not enough

he drizzles gasoline and adds coal until I am but a raging flame

yet it is still not enough

I see that he looks for heat in other fires, and I try some more

as I want him to call to me

to run to me for the heat that he needs

soon I am but a dying flame

and later there is darkness, and I am reduced to ashes

my flame is out, and I am no more

I wonder if he would have stayed if I tried harder

if I used different wood or added more oxygen

if I fanned harder

but it dawns on me that he did not really want me

he just used me for my flame

and when he found something more exciting

he left me here fighting

I burned for him, yet he could not ignite for me

life feels like that sometimes

I have burned for those who barely sparked for me

I do not miss how they broke me

or how they reduced me to nothing but ash

as if I spontaneously combusted and disintegrated into nothing

it is a crippling feeling

having someone consistently

and continuously

use up your reserves while telling you you are not enough

you will never suffice

you are dissatisfying

displeasing

yet they are the ones with the untamed appetite

they are insatiable, yet they deem you inadequate

and you break yourself down to build them up

only for them to leave because you are not whole

and they take every good piece of you and leave you with the scraps

the ash

well, I guess I needed a change anyways