INUNDATE

 I would like to tell a gest

Of the day I found love

Of the day i was immersed in a feeling so deep that all i did was swim to him

But this tale isn't so romantic

As it is filled with smoke and mirrors

It was like I was swimming and then i started to drown

Like all of a sudden 

I was swimming in a sink with an open drain, and I was going right through

I'd get through that black hole of horrors,

I wake up,

in a lake, drifting away in the same warm waters

And then the cycle repeats itself

And I'd be filled with so much compunction and apprehension, yet I would just let the black holes swallow me once more

Because all this time, as I swim, all I could think is

He is my heaven

He is the candle to light me up

I am so immersed that I don't notice that we're swimming at different speeds

Our particles have different wavelength

Our momentum is askew as I am an impulse yet he is just but a motion

And i then realize that i am not his heaven

And my heart grows heavy and lips grow weary as I realize that i am not the one he craves

He is a reverberating resonance in the deepest recess of my soul and the darkest crevices in my mind

Yet I am barely a whisper in his

As it dawns on me that our emprise is just but a canard

I am filled with despair and my motion slows

My strokes grow reckless, and I lose my sensibility

The drain is open again, and I am taken in

The more I drown, the more I prepare

Yet the result is just the same

So i give up swimming and sit on the shore

Watching people swim as I lay there

A slave to the heartache as my vehemence slowly fades

And the light of my quiddity goes down

And all i could do is wish I could swim, but the fear of drowning is greater than my desire