DILUTED

I have a story about a man

A man who wounded me so deeply, yet there were no cuts

No bruises

I didn't shed blood nor a tear

Yet every time I saw him, my blood ran cold

My breathing quickened as a tremor grew on my hands

And I never understood how a man I did not care for with burning intensity could corrode my quiddity on sight

I wrestled with the notion of an insignificant being giving me anxiety

And then I realized what was wrong

For a portion of time, he was my well of joy

He had appealed to my sanity and made me feel as though nothing could ever go wrong

And it was just but a friendship, but he bemused me and made me feel whole

But one day, like a ghost, he faded

Disappeared from the ends of my earth

And when I did see him, it was as if I was invisible

As he ignored me and acted like I didn't exist

And it felt like I was the source and the reason

Like I was what was broken and needed to be discarded

And for a faint moment, or rather a long agonizing moment

I felt as though I would always be troubled

I would never be enough

And I would never be the chosen one

And he made me feel as though I could just cry and dissolve, ceasing to exist

I stalled in the moments we had and concluded that I was the one at fault

Slowly I become watered down as the tears I shed for him washed away my essence

I felt like nothing because of someone who didn't deserve my anything