QUICK FIX

Can you give me some time to collect myself?

I ask him

He obliges even though he doesn't understand

That sometimes I'm like a ceramic vase,

Strong and endures the heat

But one crack and I'm as fragile as glass

And before I know it I am shattered

And I can't have him see that

I ask for time to seal my cracks

And I know he wants to help but he can't

For I am the one who knows my own composition

I know what glaze and epoxy suits my brick

I know how much is enough

I know myself

And once I am all fixed up

Not as new as I was but a near mimic

I go back to him saying ‘I'm ok now'

Hoping he didn't grow weary of the wait

Hoping he didn't grow impatient and lose interest

Hoping he didn't leave

Because then, I'd get another crack, one bigger than before

And it might be harder to seal that one

So I ask

Can I have some time?

Not because I'm selfish and don't want to share myself

But because I have to get used to fixing myself

And not waiting for others to bring the filler

Otherwise, I will be the weight that causes him to sink

With all I have hinging on his fragile hands

with all I am being on his shoulders

I will be the bane of his existence

and he will resent me forever

so I ask 

Can I have some time?